In this competitive world, a person always thinks of advancing. He never wants to stay behind and let other people win the race. However, some personal factors and opinions that a person builds about himself make him stand still while letting others pass through.
That’s called having low self-esteem and it is a fact that around 85% of the world population is affected by it. That’s not it! People find a way to develop better self-esteem as well as to improve themselves. Have you wondered how to develop better self-esteem?
What is Self-Esteem?
Self Esteem is a psychological trait that influences one’s confidence, motivation, mental well-being and quality of life; it is a trait which defines our reliability to our own selves. In literary terms, self-esteem is the opinion you keep about yourself and your abilities. It can be low, high, or moderate depending on what you think regarding that specific ability or in the critical situation.
So improving self-esteem of the one is a clear answer to how to develop better confidence. Both self-esteem and confidence are interrelated.
Mark Twain says, “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval”
How to Develop Better Self-Esteem?
In this article, I, Gregory Lach, will coach you on several steps regarding self-esteem where you will be answered compelling questions like how to develop better self-esteem or how to develop better confidence and free yourself from the vicious cycle of disbelief.
Figure 1: How to Develop Better Self-Esteem
Discuss with your inner self and get to the root cause.
I have seen many people blaming themselves for not properly executing the situation. They feel they won’t be suitable for the scenario. If you are among these people, have you asked yourself WHY? Have you wondered Why you can’t be the one? What is the thing you feel you lack?
Hence to answer such queries, you’ll have to find the root cause. Work out the cause of low self-esteem. Accordingly, find out, what’s wrong in the first place? Is it your troubled house environment, experiences of failure, or negative rumors? It can be something other than that as well. Seek the demon inside you. Talk with your closest friend or if you want, we can talk about it in depth when we start working together.
You may feel like it’s a daunting task but addressing the root cause, pondering over your past, and learning from it helps you stand up on your feet and reclaim yourself. I have seen many people who have come to me for advice were able to build their self-esteem after they figured out the root cause and overcome the trauma that held them back.
Block the negativity in your life
If you reach the root cause of low self-esteem, you’ll see that it was all due to the negativity that surrounded you. To develop better self-esteem, it is time to say goodbye to the negative mockups in your head.
Whenever you feel you can’t do one thing, say to yourself “You Can Do It!”. This usually occurs in daily situations or decisions that a negative stimulant makes you feel low about yourself and develops a low self-esteem barrier. You must stop indulging in those thoughts. Fight with your mind, don’t let it accept that negativity, and try to replace it with positive ones.
It is not easier said than done. Building better confidence requires believing in yourself and that occurs only when negative thoughts are not indulged in your mind. The more negative thoughts are replaced with positive ones, the more you will get a grip on self-esteem and confidence.
Embrace the positivity and optimize your circle
I have already stated above that the best way to fight negativity is to embrace positivity. I understand it is not like a magic wand will erase all negativity to let positivity flow in but it is an entire cycle you’ll have to walk through. To build better self-esteem, you’ll not only have to recognize your true self but you will also be optimizing your social circle.
Indulging positivity is not a solo task. Also, the people around you affect you a lot. Surround yourself with those who believe, who know the best, who encourage, and those who instill positivity. Hence, choose such people. It is your choice that will change your life to build better confidence. Again remember, your friends, family, social circle make a huge difference.
So if you ask me in a 1 to 1 coaching session, how to develop better self-esteem, I’ll say clean out the negative people in life and rebuild your circle with positive ones.
Don’t forget to say “I can do this!” when you are seeking answers to “How to develop better self-esteem?”
Figure 2: Stay Positive
How to develop better self-esteem – Do Your Best!
When you know you have placed full effort into something, you’ll be more confident with whatever the outcome is. Isn’t it good?
If you are performing and project and you gave your 100% to it, you won’t feel any regrets. There is no point to feel any regret or to feel guilty. If the person judging the project is good, he’ll appreciate your effort. He won’t be compelled to speak negatively about it. Even if the final result is not as expected, you’ll feel that gushing confidence of accomplishments.
Even I try to do my best when coaching the clients. I know I have given my 100% to the client and I believe he’ll take the advice to change his life. That giving your best increases the reputation and belief you have of yourself.
Walk on a different path
People with High Self-Esteem never fail to try something new. To get out of the bubble of low self-esteem you’ll have to take the risks. You must start accepting the acceptance and rejections. They make you build better confidence and grow you maturely.
Walking on a different path doesn’t mean you must stay away from your current lifestyle. Your life is amazing. Do something you haven’t done before. Like go skateboarding or talk to strangers or play the guitar in public. You may be thinking I am sounding ridiculous here. I’m not. If you are thinking that then you feel that you can’t do it. Let me remind you we are here to learn how to develop better self-esteem. Tackle that gut feeling of you can’t do it and try something new.
If you feel you’ll be rejected, take out that feeling. It is your life, do as you please! Don’t walk as per other’s directions. Let them laugh if you fell from the skateboard. Thus, the feeling of getting up and doing a perfect roll is much better than giving up on their laughs. It is all about building better confidence!
Don’t restrain. Take a Break! Channel your inner self.
Take a Break! You deserve it. Thus, you don’t have to tire yourself to prove your worth. You’re a human being, and no human being can be perfect.
Self-esteem attacks you in different situations at different times. You may be commanding at work but struggle to cope up socially. Or you may be good at other skills but not good in academics. Hence, don’t overthink your goods or bad. Take a Break! Overthinking on strengths and weaknesses will result in getting hard on oneself. You can’t do that because you have to build better confidence.
Be kind to yourself, enjoy the moments you are living and stop criticizing yourself. This will not only reinforce negative beliefs about you but also allow people to talk negatively about you. You can’t go backward now; you have to move forward!
Therefore, take breaks from hustle and bustle of life, reward yourself, appreciate yourself and learn from your mistakes.
Exercise your mind and body
Studies show that exercise and high self-esteem have a positive correlation with each other. Exercising makes you feel good. Why won’t it be? When you feel that you are fit and healthy you will find yourself having much better confidence build up.
if you don’t exercise, start pumping your body now! People with low self-esteem don’t care about themselves hence they avoid exercising. To build better self-esteem you must take care of yourself. Step out of that low self-esteem bubble, stay fit, stay healthy, get more sleep, relax and do what you want to do.
Follow this strategy and you’ll find yourself confident and motivated. You’ll start trusting yourself!
Learn to say NO!
If you have confidence, you’ll know how to say No. In addition to this, you need to be assertive so that you may not find yourself overburdened, over occupied, and overstressed. Developing assertiveness is key to build better self-esteem.
People are less likely to be assertive when they are occupied with low self-esteem. Thus, they find it hard to stand up for their sakes and say No! They think they try to regulate their self-esteem but, in this way, they won’t only be losing their reputation but fall deeper into the darkness of low self-esteem.
If you can’t develop the courage to be assertive, don’t worry I will coach you over it. Self-Development is important to be self-esteemed and lead a better life and, in this journey. I will be there for you.
When you compromise, you let yourself feel lack behind. I’m not suggesting you shall never compromise. But compromising every time for the sake of others is like pushing yourself into the realm of low self-esteem. Moreover, you put other’s needs and desires in front of others. Why? Because you feel that thing is not that important for you. Even if it was important for you.
Compromises can be handled smoothly in a way that you don’t lose your self-esteem. However, compromise in situations where you think you won’t be affected; you’ll get acknowledged and loved. Such compromises involve kids, parents, spouses, good friends, and work honesty. However, never compromise on situations where your heart and mind don’t agree and where you believe you won’t feel satisfied. The result of such compromises won’t lead to building better confidence.
I’ve coached people who compromised other’s needs before there’s. As a result, they fell deep into depression and bad health.
Learn and Teach
Paulo Choelo says, “Teaching is only demonstrating that it is possible. Learning is making it possible for yourself”
Always be willing to learn new things. Never stop at one point. This will make you progressive towards life. The more knowledge and understanding of the life you’ll have, there won’t be anybody to drag you down. Being a student till eternity makes one build better confidence and self-esteem.
However, it is not limited to learning only. Becoming a mentor is what completes this cycle. When you become someone’s mentor, leader, or support system you’ll see that giving you immense gratitude and respect. That shower of positive feelings skyrockets one’s self-esteem.
If you have reached this point, you might have understood the ultimate steps to how to build better self-esteem and how to build better confidence. It is a challenging journey, but the reward is greater than you think. Furthermore, you deserve respect, love, happiness, and recognition, don’t let self-esteem be the major issue of your life.
“How to get better self-esteem?” If you still have this question unanswered, do get in touch with me.